Bush to Appoint Jimmy Carter Ambassador to Hell
By Scott Ott for ScrappleFace(2008-04-15)
As former President Jimmy Carter meets this week with Hamas leaders in the West Bank and Syria, sources at the State Department say President George Bush will soon honor Mr. Carter’s decades of freelance diplomacy by appointing him as the first U.S. Ambassador to Hell.
“Bush just wants Carter to go there,” said an unnamed State Department source, “and to set up an embassy, and try to be a good listener, open a communication channel, find common ground.”
Mr. Carter has said his discussions with prominent Hamas member Nasser al-Shaer today and with the group’s exiled leader Khaled Mashaal on Friday will seek to discover areas of flexibility on the part of the terrorist organization which exists to destroy Israel.
Mr. Bush reportedly chose Mr. Carter as U.S. Ambassador to Hell because it’s a post that will allow the aging former president “to just keep on doing what he’s been doing on the foreign relations front for many years.”